I'm in a better mood,
I must say.


I wanted to bump an ugly journal away! ^3^


It hit me today,
WE AREN'T IN THE WORLD CUP.
Maybe it was extra emotion from yesterday but I CRIED.

I'm such a wimp.

BUT IF WE WON THAT ONE MATCH WE WOULD BE IN IT AGAIN.

Remembering England kicking our asses and tieing Switzerland isn't good enough.
Tieing WAS delicious at the time, I admit.
The Swiss were CRYING and our side was SCREAMING.
Everyone knew that our goalie was GOING to get SO MUCH WOMEN when he got back.
SO MUCH.

WHY DIDN'T WE WIN THAT ONE?
WHY?

Either way, I'm cheering for Italy,
I always do.

If you haven't got what I'm talking about it's football.
_{Call it soccer and I will SKIN YOU ALIVE.}

I'm wallowing in self pity and tears.

Not even going to say why because I'm just adding fuel to the fire that is my whiny sobbing.

......

Ok no, I can't stop myself.

The stupid reason why I'm crying when others have much worse is;


I CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

NO ONE SEEMS TO LIKE ME.

NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T CHANGE IT.


All the time I get bad-talked and made fun of for absolutely no reason things like my hair or my face or other petty things.
I would walk and people would talk,
I would laugh and people would talk,
I would speak and people would talk,
I would BE MYSELF and people would talk.

Ever since I was 5 and went to school,
I never fit their standards.

I would some close friends who didn't care about that,
But they slowly depleted.
Going to live out lives in other places.
Leaving me alone, friendless, and hopeless.

I try befriending some people they try back and we have fun.
They say I'm one of their best friends,
I say the same.
We have endless fun.

Until when I'm not there [seemingly, I was there hearing what they said]
Some one else would be bad-talking me and one of the 'best friends' agreed and contributed.
While the other just stood there nodding.

Betrayed

I ignored it for some reason.

Then it happened again and one of the 'best friends',
The one I was SUPER close to and told everything to went along with some others openly making fun of me.

Betrayed

Today someone was bad-talking me and I just BROKE DOWN.
I was a mess.

How do I deserve this?

WHY are people so horrible?


This is why I always wish to get out of here.
To bluer skies and greener pastures.
Away from judgmental people who only talk about others.


I'm sorry for being to self-pitying when people have it worse.

Did Zomore,
Writhing in pain to his last day cry?
No he didn't.

Why should I cry about something so STUPID?

No matter how many times I tell myself I'm acting as if the world revolves around me...
I can't stop.

I sit there in my chair at school silent, even though I'm a loud person, trying not to do anything to make them talk.
It doesn't work.

I hate it when everyone around me is talking, having fun and I sit in the middle friendless trying not to do anything.

[link]

I got that formspring thing.

The reason it's "Indecisive" is because I never can come up with names for anything.
EVER.

I thought using a little Spanish would spice it up,
But it didn't.

Ask questions away!



On another HORRIBLE note,

School is back.

Kill me now.

I hate school.
I hate the people in school.

I just sit there doing work mindlessly (unless it's Geography or History) waiting till' class ends.

NONE of my friends are in my class.
NONE.

I try to talk to people in class,
I try not to be antisocial.

Yet, I can't take it.
I pride myself in not liking conversations that consist of,
"LOL OMFG ILY PEACE PEACE PEACE DID YOU SEE -place name here- SHE TOTALLY FLINGING -place name here- I SAW THEM DDI AND LIKE, THEY WERE KISSING AND SHE WAS WHINING ON HIM"
Not even once or twice.
ALL THE TIME.

I actually head-desked today because of it.
Almost face-palmed too.



At least the detachment of my friends gets me good grades.
My Spanish grades make my heart sing with joy....

The monotony is going to kill me.

I'm very antagonistic now.
Always been actually,
Lot's of things are bullshit like I always say.

And OH MY GOD,
Things make lots of sense.
Bush is an idiot.

I'd have move things to say but I'm only half-way through.

You HAVE TO see this;

WARNING:
Deep thinking,
Learning,
Spazz attacks of "OMG THAT. MAKES. SENSE.",
It's a movie.

[link]


ABSOLUTE GENIUS.

I LOVE MY BROTHER FOR SENDING THIS TO ME.

I even washed all the rest of dishes for him in a Thank you.

I also gave him a goodbye hug, haven't done that before.

_{THE WORLD ISN'T GOING TO END!
FUCK YES!}



I was going to stay up last night yo watch the sun rise since I was waiting for doubles until 4AM anyway.
Unfortunately, when I was sitting on the couch waiting I just fell asleep.

School starts tomorrow and I get to go back to be surrounded by narrow-minded RETARDS.
Oh joy.

At least it's double day (lots of double periods) so it seems shorter.


One brother gone and it already feels super quite.
I feel the need to bang pots and pans.


MEME AGAIN.
TOTALLY STOLEN.

FOODOLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch or Caesar.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Trotters. Their pasta is DELICIOUS.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? I couldn't eat the same food for two weeks. DX

What are your pizza toppings of choice? PLAIN CHEESE. I'm so boring when it comes to food.

What do you like to put on your toast? Scrambled eggs.

TECHNOLOGY
How many televisions are in your house? 4 I think.

What color is your cell phone? Black

Do you have an iPod? I had one years back but I never used it.

BIOLOGY
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Two teeth?

What is the last heavy item you lifted? A mattress. XD

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope.

BULLOLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes and no....
how bout the week I die, that'll be nicer.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? My name makes for fun jokes, I have no interest in changing it. (My name is Italian for white, hardy har har.)

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Trinidadian hot sauce can make a person DIE. I rather not.

FAVORITOLOGY
Season? Rainy

Holiday? Summer~

Month? December

CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone? Nope

Mood? Bored

What are you listening to? The audio of ZEITGEIST

Worry? Not really

RANDOMOLOGY
First place you went this morning? Bathroom.

What's the last movie you saw? Slumdog Millionaire

OTHER-OLOGY
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Never.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Two, they are AWESOMELY comfy.

Last person you talked to? Mum.

Last person you hugged? My brother

Do you always answer your phone? If it's MY phone; Always.
If it's THE phone; Never.

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? Someone who wants homework.

If you could change your eye color what would it be? I like it as is. Maybe a little less gray would be nice.

Do you own a digital camera? Nope

Have you ever had a pet fish? Yeah, It died... ;3;

Favorite Christmas song(s)? Carol of The Bells

What's on your wish list for your birthday? I have to wait a whole next YEAR, so I have no idea.

Can you do push ups? Only 15 then I can't do anymore. I am MUCH better at sit ups.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? EXCITED. VERY MUCH SO.

Do you have any saved texts? Only one or two, one of importance and one that just makes me smile.

Have you ever been in a car accident? Never

Do you have an accent? A Trini one?

Plans tonight? Finish writing over English book, learn some Russian, mourn about the start of school, sleep.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Too often!

Name 3 things you bought yesterday? I went to the pharmacy. All you need to know.

Have you ever been given roses? My father gives me some on Valentines day sometimes~ <3

Met someone who changed your life? MANY

How did you bring in the New Year? On the grass being attacked by muddy puppies.

What song represents you? No clue...

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Sometimes I wish I could, but then again that's a lot of work to redo. Oftentimes I just wish I could stop time whenever I wanted.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Never dated.

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS.




[link]

I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THE 7TH ONE.

HIGH FIVE IF YOU GEDDIT.


-SPAM SPAM SPAM-

_{Sorry for clogging your inbox! DX}